Same-sex couples as parents

CNN recently aired a documentary titled "Gary and Tony Have a Baby," where CNN's Soledad O'Brien followed a same-sex couple in "their struggle against the legal and personal obstacles to become parents" and their quest to achieve a life as mainstream as possible. How do you feel about gay couples having a family? Should they be allowed to adopt and be foster parents? What if you had a gay member of your family and they decided to have a baby through adoption, surrogacy or sperm donor? How would you react to it?

Divine Love is the basis for the desire to bring a new soul into this world.

One of the ways in which we can know the Infinite, is as the perfect expression of Divine Love. God as love sees only the good in the hearts of those who desire a child.

In other words, the principle of Divine Love includes everyone. No one is excluded from the free expression of Divine Love. I'm in favor of same-sex couples raising a child (having a baby through surrogacy, sperm donor or adoption). Also, I am in favor of the single parent (either female or male) who has the desire to raise a child.

In my family, if some relative chose a same-sex union and wanted to raise a child, we would still embrace them as members of our family. We might have many different, human opinions about their lifestyle, but we would do our best to still consider them to be members of our greater family and accept them in love.

•The REV. JERI LINN is pastor of Unity Church of the Valley in Montrose. Reach her at (818) 249-4396.

I want to start with a word of appreciation to Gary and Tony for making the desires of their hearts so public. It is a bridge-building effort to cover the gap between "us" and "them" by naming the yearning that human people hold in common. In some ways, this is a more courageous sort of activism than marching in the street with signs — this exposure of soul to everyone from kindred spirits to harsh evaluators of parental suitability.

In the United Methodist Church, we believe that the family is the most basic human community through which persons are nurtured and sustained in mutual love, responsibility, respect and fidelity. We readily acknowledge that the idea of family embraces a wide range of options, and we welcome and support families in all their beautiful configurations.

I have been particularly touched by the stories of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families who have adopted children — often special needs children or whole families of siblings. That is truly a calling to the work of raising a family, and as a pastor I understand and support the risk-taking that comes with responding to a calling. As a side note, I was surprised to see how many states have unclear laws on second-parent adoption; in other words, they may allow a "single" parent to adopt, including a single gay parent, but there isn't always a clear path to making the second parent legal. This strikes me as something that we as a nation want to work on as part of our efforts to strengthen families. (California permits single gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender and joint adoption, and second-parent adoption is allowed.)

We are as a society still studying the ethical dimensions of surrogacy and in vitro fertilization, but those explorations are separate from the question of whether or not gay couples should be legally allowed and morally confirmed in using these methods to create a family.

As Gary and Tony (and so many others) reveal, human love takes many forms, just as God's own love takes many forms.

As Jesus-followers, let's stay open, not closed, to what God will do.

•The REV. PAIGE EAVES is pastor of Crescenta Valley United Methodist Church. Reach her at (818) 249-6173, or e-mail pastorpaige@cvumc.org.

John tells us: If we love one another God dwells in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us. In another place he says: Where there is love there is God, for God is love.

True happiness is found in loving others. When we experience love, we learn how to love. Children, especially, are formed in love when they experience a loving environment. When they grow into a loving family environment, where members truly love one another and show it, the child will blossom and become the happy, psychologically healthy adult who will live the Great Commandment because it has become so much a part of their life.

Foster and adopted children are especially in need of a loving environment. For one reason or another they often feel that they are unlovable because they are often unloved. They develop a poor self image, and as growing children and adolescents they somehow get the feeling that they need to sell themselves to prospective families so that they will be the ones who are "picked" from the group to become fostered or adopted. No child should be made to feel this way. Every child needs and has a right to feel love, feel loveable and become a part of a loving family.

When people — married couples, gay couples or singles — feel the call to love a child, help them to feel lovable and become a part of a loving family, they should be praised for this, not criticized.